It's All About the Money (example essay final draft)

We met in the 540 A Publix (aka The Baby Publix). His name, Cup, Reece’s Cup. I was with my mom doing our biweekly, Sunday afternoon, grocery run when we made eye contact. Maybe it was his shinny orange packaging, or perhaps it was his pasty peanut butter heart. Caught up in his rich dark chocolaty skin, I begged my mom to let him join us after dinner. Of course I didn’t realize it then, but now it is completely clear to me, I was tricked. The owners of the Publix Corporation, or possibly Reece’s, used me to get to my moms check book.
That Reece’s Cup was put there on purpose, with unflawed logic behind its exact placement. Sure, my mom walked past them without being sucked into the rabbit hole of Skittles, Twizlers, and M&M’s, but it all rested on my direct level of eye sight. There is no way, that at seven years old, I would have been able to pass by a Reece’s Cup.

(2)
So I wonder, are people subject to all of the tricks up the corporations sleeve’s, or rather are we the basis of their selling techniques.
Think about it, in every grocery store candy is always in the check out line. Why? Mothers who bring there children into the store can not avoid the register, but it expands even farther than that. The actual candy is placed on the bottom half of those shelves, to be absolutely sure that children notice it, with gum and magazines at the top. Not just any magazine, mainly the weight loss magazines, or those with headlines such as “Brittany Still Fat after the Baby”. Ironic that they are positioned directly above American’s largest temptation, sugar? Not at all, simply genius. It is a very productive thought, to place items in a way that would attract the appropriate paying customers; similar to the way Hollister plays their music loud enough to reach out and grab the attention of nine out of ten teenagers from across the mall.
Walking into the dim lit split doorway of a Hollister or Abercrombie is a little different than that of most department stores. A mixture of darkness, sweet scents of perfume, and overbearing fake plants create an atmosphere of relaxation. An atmosphere that makes you want to take your time to glance around at everything. One that makes you look a little harder at things you normally wouldn’t, because the dark lighting makes it slightly more difficult to focus your eyes. The spot lights are always rested on the most expensive items in the store, but they are the items that many would give into the price in order to receive the satisfaction of “trendy” clothes. The loud, upbeat choice of rock music that bounces past the perimeter of the store makes one excited, and often forget about how much he or she really is paying for a paper thin blouse.
(3)
It is because of all of the above statements that once we enter the store, we can no longer think clearly, and that we are distracted from truly analyzing the signs that read, “Buy two get, one free!” We get so caught up in the “sales” that we cease to realize that the regular price has increased from $15 to $21.99; so that we really are still paying for the “free” shirt. Only one who has a brick wall for a conscience could escape the temptations that lurk around every corner of the store; from the spot lit mannequin, with a god like aurora, propped at “center stage”, and the life size posters in the dressing rooms, to the faces on the bags and the pictures of Jake and Malaya on the human named cologne bottles. They all stare at you, sending the message that if you buy that top, you will look like the poster model, it’s a trick. A trick that is even performed, innocently, by Hollister’s employees, who are almost forced to spend half of their weeks pay check on their work dress code.
Sometimes what our eyes see, and what our ears hear is no further than skin deep, however our mind still believes it. Corporations are all about the money. All about tricking their audience into believing it’s a deal, and diminishing their customer’s ability to make rational decisions. Sales articles and commercials have convinced us that these companies actually care about the money we are saving in this economic downturn. Instead, it is misdirection, a manipulation of a person’s emotions by using lights, signs, and colors, almost like magic, possibly to save their own butt’s from bankruptcy.

Busy Week...

...started last weekend. Saturday I took the SAT then after that I got lost in Macon (not completely familiar with the area around Mercer). Then I went to the perry fair and fed the cutest water buffalo named Landon. (: Got home kind of late Saturday night, and woke up early Sunday morning to go to six flags. It was Geico family day, very crowded, but wonderful weather for the day. Slept till twelve on Monday then did some house chores. Tuesday I thought it was Monday, so my week is flying by. Helped my dad out at the fire station Tuesday night. Wednesday, totally confused because it was new block schedule already. Hour and a half full body work out. Tomorrow fair with FBLA, for fall motivational rally. Friday test, report, and a load of stat homework due. Babysitting my niece Friday night. Saturday house sitting for my sister, as well as going to Gray fair. Sunday catching up on all the homework and studying I miss out on during the week. Busy, exhausted, but so worth it.

Greatest Day Ever!

A's on all my progress reports! Decided I really want to go to Southern! Made arrangements to be in the homcoming parade! Full body workout with new trainer left me completely enegized when i got home! And in case anyone else needs a little boost, Black Pepper Jack Doritos are sooooo back!!!! Today is awesome! (:

Comments

Comments have not seemed to be a problem in this blogging experience for me. On my descriptive essay I received 4 comments, they did not have to much constructive criticism in them, however they were comments. They all stated that they liked my paper and that they could relate, which is a good start. You can not expect perfection on any ones first attempt.

On this example essay I received 5 comments, all of them very helpful. Each comment stating the reason they could relate to my essay, each telling me specific elements of the essay that they really liked or appreciated, and each saying one small thing that I could change to help improve my essay. So for me, the posting and commenting has worked great.

Honestly, as much as I love seeing comments because it lets me know that people are actually reading and because it helps me improve my essay, it is not mandatory. For people to get so upset over not receiving comments is a little childish. We have to remember that this is a college course that we have the privilege of taking while we are still seniors in high school. It is part of one of the largest transitions in our lifetime, and for anyone to sour the experience just because of a few comments seems a little ridiculous in my opinion. I mean we have never been in a class in which we had this kind of opportunity of making our writing public, and open to public criticism, we always ran to our friends for peer review. No one says that we can not still do that. So personally I think that the griping needs to stop, this is not something that we need to get used to or expect throughout college. And we all must also remember we are all asking our teacher to be lenient about our grades because we are not keeping up with our blogs like we were asked; however when she asks us to be patient and understanding about the blogs and comments we continue to criticize her technique. Remember that this is the first time she has done this with a class as well, and we can not expect perfection from any ones first attempt.

2nd Essay in Review

I disagree with anyone who claims that this is the most difficult essay to write. Honestly it is probably the easiest to actually write, after you pick a topic. Picking a topic is difficult no matter what type of essay you are writing about, however when you chose a topic for an example essay you have to be sure to chose a topic which you can support your generalization with examples that relate to people other than you. The idea must be universal. Your topic must still be narrow, just like the description essay, but you have to expand the description and examples into something that everyone can relate to and understand. To me the example essay is just like the descriptive essay, except it requires a little more knowledge. If you do not know enough about you topic you may need to do a little research. Example: in my essay I wrote about how corporations use placement of colors, shapes, and words to make items in their stores look more appealing to the eye, so that we as consumers will be more likely to purchase their product. The examples that I used in my essay were facts, I had read about this online a few months before i completed my essay. So no, to me this essay was no more difficult than the next. My advice to the next 1101 student, research never hurt a paper.

Exhausted

I feel like someone has shoved a sword into my back and left it there and evertime I move it sinks a little deeper. I have been bent over a table paintint shirts for thursday for 4 hours 3 of which i was working by myself. So two of the shirts look decent and the rest progresivly get worse and more crooked. Next time I wont be working by mself, and if I am I will be making profit off of each shirt. Exhausted, in pain, and in bed. Night.

Spirit Week!

Monday: Super Hero Day
Ninja Turtle T-shirt, which took me two walmarts plus an hour to find. Who would have thought it would be in the mens, and not the little boys. I mean seriusly when did little kids stop wearing Ninja Turtle Shirts?

Tuesday: Career Day
A little chilly for hawain day, so I think I will settle for my normal everyday work attire and a lei.

Wednesday: Camo Day
Since I dont really own anything camo, I am borrowing a friends T shirt and pants and wearing my brothers camo jacket.

Thursday: Hippie Day
Tie Dye Tshirts! (that I made) (:

Friday: Purple & Gold
Purple JC T Shirt, Gold Keds, Purple and Gold Beads, Purple and Gold Socks. Maybe paint and hair color, have not completely decided.

Last homecoming spirit week ever! So glad to be a senior! 2010 baby!